How did I end up here? Part 2

So I arrive at the office for the transfer (or not really because I knew it would be cancelled. We get there and I am curled up in the seat in the waiting room in an extreme amount of pain. I am trying not to say a word for fear I might yack all over the place. The nurse asks if I am okay. All I can do is shake my head no. I go to the bathroom to put on the gown. At this point I was so weak I could hardly walk and I actually stumbled on the way in. When I came out my doctor was standing there and he said that he did not like the way I looked and they were going to get me in a bed and try to give me some fluids. They had an extremely difficult time getting an IV. I think something happens to your veins when you are dehydrated. Luckily they had numbed it first so I didn't feel the dozen or so times they attempted to get it in. When I finally looked over at my hand there was a decent amount of blood all over the place. Kinda scary... For the next hour I just sat there in a daze, holding a barf bowl and trying not to move and make the pain any worse. The dr. decided that the fluids were not making me any better and I he called the hospital to have me admitted. Luckily it was just across the street so I did not have to endure too long of a car ride.

When I got there I had to be given another IV. This too took several attempts and they do not use the numbing shot first. I REALLY wanted pain medicine through the IV but of course that had to wait until they could ask me a million intake questions and process everything through the insurance, etc., etc. Finally I got something for the pain and the nausea. At this point I was at least in a tolerable amount of pain and discomfort. They brought in a food tray. The smell made me feel sick so they took it away. The nurse also said I should try to drink as much gatorade as possible. I told her I could not possibly drink any more gatorade. I actually never want to have it again in my life...They pretty much left me alone about the gatorade after that.

My stomach was getting humongous. I would say I looked at least 6 months pregant. The pain and pressure was increasing and I could actually feel my ovaries. I later found out during my ultrasound that they were so big they were actually toughing each other. Ovaries Touching = PAIN!!

Somehow I made it through Sunday and Sunday night thanks to a wonderful drug called Percocet. Monday morning I woke up and saw one of the other drs. in the practice. Overnight I had gained 10 pounds and they had decided that they would put in a drain to get the fluid out of my abdomen. I was also beginning to have a difficult time breathing. At 11:00 the nurse told me they would be taking me down to do the ultrasound/put in the drain very soon. This was also about the time I needed more Percocet. I decided to decline the percocet and just take tylenol. The percocet had been making me incredibly tired and I knew that I would need to be awake for the ultrasound so I thought this would be a good idea. It turned out to be probably one of the worst decisions ever made. They did not come for the ultrasound/drain for 4 more hours. During that time my pain became so intense that I was just sitting in my bed sobbing and rocking back and forth. They would not give me any meds for 4 hours because I had taken the tylenol. Looking back I should have had J call my doctor and had him order the pain medice but at the time I was not thinking clearly. Really, the nurse should have offered to do this... She was not my favorite of the bunch.

Some young guy finally came to wheel me down for the ultrsound. At this time I am still on no medicine and in extreme pain. We must have had to go to the farthest point in the hospital to get to radiology. He probably thought I was crazy becauseI winced at every bump. When I got to radiology I was put in a holding room with a bunch of beds separated by curtains.. There was an older couple next to me and the wife was talking on her cell phone very loudly about her husband's liver biopsy. I am sure I must have looked horrible because I think every person who walked by asked if I was okay. To which I replied NO. There wasn't anything they could do to help, so I really don't know why they were asking.

The ultrasound was terrible because it involved pressure on my stomach/ovaries. There were also 2 younger girls in the room (nursing students maybe). They were certainly fascinated by my gigantic ovaries. At least I became a learning experience for someone. The dr. finally came in to put in the drain. I will not go into all the details, but it really, really hurt. The did an injection to numb it first but I could feel the incision and the little catheter moving around inside of me... Ouch!

When I made it back to my room I finally got my much needed Percocets and and I slept for about an hour. Monday was day 2 of 6 days I would spend in the hospital. More to come...

“Tough times are there so you can have a good time later on-- and really appreciate it!”
-Unknown

How did I end up here?

Last Tuesday, Jan. 28th was our egg retrieval. I was so happy that I had made it to this day and I could not wait to here all about embryos. We arrived at the office at 6:10. My aspiration was scheduled for 7:30. I was hooked up to an IV and met with the anesthesiologist and my doctor. I remember going into the procedure room and laying down in a very warm comfortable bed. They told me that they would give me some medicine to help me go to sleep. I could feel the burning of the pain medicine going through my IV. The next think I remember is waking up back in the same bed that I started out in. Jeremy was not back yet, but the nurse was there. I think I asked him at least 10 times how many eggs they retrieved (29!!!) I was still pretty out of it from the medication so I remembered that I had asked him but I just couldn't remember the answer. I was in a lot of pain and they gave me more medicine for it. Then I started to feel very nauseous so they gave me something for that. J came back and said his part went well except for the fact that the office had a broken VCR that day ... poor J !!
It wasn't too long before the embryologist came to let us know that his sample was good and we could go home as soon as I could get up and go to the bathroom. We were home around 11:45.
The following 2 days I felt very sick..almost flu like. I could not eat and it was extremely painful to move. I called the doctor and ended up going in on Thursday. They noticed some fluid beginning to collect on an ultrasound, but gave me instructions to eat salty food and drink a lot. On the way home we stopped and got a Target popcorn (very salty!) and a gatorade. Well, not to get into too much detail but that did not stay down for very long. The next few days until Sunday were really a blur. I was happy to hear that we had 19 embryos that were doing great. I, however, was not doing so great. I was unable to eat anything and I could only stomach very small amounts of liquid (about an ounce an hour). Every day was a battle to get through, but I wanted so badly to get to Sunday. Each night J would drag me out of bed to give me my progesterone shot and I would be so lightheaded I could barely stand up long enough for him to do the injection. We debated going to the hospital nightly and looking back that is definitely what we should have done. I was severely dehydrated and gaining a lot of fluid weight. But I just kept thinking, "maybe I will wake up tomorrow and feel better." I had been waiting so long to get to this IVF and I just couldn't bring myself to make the decision to end it by going to the hospital. Somehow, I made it to Sunday (transfer day)...
To Be Continued...

It's A Go!

Yesterday was a big scare in my little IVF world. Just to recap...
I have been to the RE (Dr. T) every day this week for bloodwork and ultrasound. Even though my dosages have been reduced almost daily, my estrogen level continued to rise. Yesterday the nurse called to let me know that my estrogen was very high and she wanted to prepare me for this cycle to be cancelled. First, we were going to try one night of "coasting." This means that I took only the Lupron- no Gonal F, no Menopur. She gave me a 50/50 chance that this cycle would continue.

This morning I went in for more bloodwork and another ultrasound. My poor arms. They are so bruised from 5 blood draws this week. It is a good thing the weather is still a little chilly and I can wear long sleeves. I have spent the past 24 hours trying to prepare myself for the cancellation of this IVF. I looked at the phone in the middle of church and there was a message from the nurse. I teared up just knowing it was there. I waited until I got home to listen to the message and call her back. And, we received great news. Although my E2 had risen since yesterday it had not skyrocketed to such a high amount that we would have to cancel. We will do the HCG trigger shot tonight and my egg retrieval (originally planned for Thursday) will be on Tuesday morning. I am so happy about this news. I feel like not much with infertility has ever gone my way, but finally this is something.

Tonight is J's first chance to give me an injection and it is a big, important one. He says he is not worried about it. I am worried about giving up this control to him. I would feel better about injecting it myself but I think I think that would be difficult (but not impossible) given the location.

The transfer will be either Friday or Sunday. After yesterday's scare I am back to my usually optimistic self. Just for fun, I went on an IVF due date calculator. If all of this results in pregnancy (and I really hope it does), my due date will be Oct. 20th. Of course I know that this might not work. I might not get pregnant, but for now I can't think about that. This is the closest I have ever been to pregnancy really happening so I am going to enjoy it for now. I have the 2 weeks after the embro transfer to freak out!

“To get through the hardest journey we need take only one step at a time, but we must keep on stepping”
-Chinese Proverb

IVF Update

Yesterday was my first ultrasound and bloodwork check. I still have a lot of small follicles which is normal for this early on. My estrogen is really high though. From what I know, it should be right over 100 and mine was 751. This has me very concerned. They cut down my Gonal F from 225 to 150. I have another check scheduled for tomorrow. Since tomorrow is Day 6 I am hoping that we might have some measurable follies, but I am not sure if it is still too early. I was really hoping that they might cut out the menopur. I am not exactly sure what menopur does, but it burns and seems to inject sooo slowly!
I am feeling okay, but extremely tired. Today I almost fell asleep during a reading group. I definitely wish that there was a nap time in 2nd grade. I need it now. I am very much looking forward to tomorrow being Friday.
We are also still going by our original IVF calendar which means my egg retrieval will be Jan. 29th. I can't believe that this is less than a week away. It really is so surreal still. I have to get substitute plans ready since I will probably be out Thursday & Friday if all goes as planned.

IVF #1 is On...

Yesterday I got the go ahead to start the stimulation medication. I was worried because the girl doing the ultrasound said there were 2 areas that the doctor would "need to look at." Given my history of cysts and endo this was not good news and I spent the entire day a nervous wreck. It really was the entire day, too. I did not get the go ahead call until 6:00 pm.
I started the injections at my usual 7:30 time slot, but it turned into a 45 minute ordeal. It turns out I did not have the right needle needed for the Menopur injection. After going through my entire box of supplies several times I called the emergency nurse number. It turns out that the size needle that I needed was never ordered. The nurse apologized on the phone for not catching this error. I ended up having to use one of the HUGE needles and inserting it only half way. It really was not too bad once I got over the initial shock of the needle size.
So now I am on 3 injections nightly- Lupron, Gonal F and Menopur. I had me preop appointment for the egg retrieval today. It was uneventful and I was able to pick up the right needles for tonight.
So far giving these injections is going pretty smoothly. It takes awhile because I am double (and sometimes triple) checking the dosages.
My next appointment is on Wednesday. They think I may stim quickly (Yeah!) due to the large number of follicles on my ultrasound yesterday.
Today I also bought J a Valentine's card and then I started thinking that I could be pregnant by Valentine's Day... how exciting!

Day 9

I really thought I would be writing a little bit more than this, but I have been really busy recently. I am now on day 9 of Lupron. The first injection was, of course, captured on videotape. I was really scared but I counted to 3 and jabbed that thing in. I did not feel it at all. After 9 days, I have managed to have only 1 bruise. I read somewhere that this is from pushing the medication in too quickly. I have really become quite quick with these little injections. I actually just gave myself one while talking to a friend on the phone. On Sunday, we have an appointment with the Dr. I will be getting bloodwork done and spending some time with the ultrasound wand. I am hoping that we will get the okay to start the stimulation medication. Then I will be up to three injections per day- 1 of lupron, 1 gonal f and 1 menopur. I have been waiting so long for this cycle to get here and I can't believe that I am probably less than two weeks away from an egg retrieval. A month from now (which seems like FOREVER) I could be pregnant!
Overall, I am feeling really positive about this entire process right now. I do envision myself pregnant (hopefully with twins!!) around this time next month. Tomorrow I am going to buy some gatorade and V8. I have recently read that this is good to drink while stimming so I figured why not? I usually don't drink my calories, but I am up for doing anything to help this ivf end with the results I want!
I am also going to try to post more. I started this blog to help others going through infertility and the ivf process. I found reading blogs to be so helpful on this journey and I am hoping that my story might provide some hope, inspiration, or advice to even just one person out there.

Meds are here

My IVF meds arrived yesterday. It is quite overwhelming, especially the huge bag of needles. I was trying to count the number of shots that I would be giving myself this month. I got up to 53 and then stopped counting. My husband, J, just wanted to know how many of those he would be giving. He is quite excited about his chance to play doctor. I think it is going to take him a long time to get up the nerve to actually jam that needle in. We will see in just a few weeks. When FedEx delivered the meds I wrote with big black marker on the box "BABY IN A BOX. J took a picture. That is definitely one for the scrapbook.

In other news, today was my first day back at work after the winter break. It seems like we were out much longer than 2 weeks. Luckily, the students were still off today so I had time to plan and get everything ready for tomorrow. Tomorrow will also be my last day without injections for awhile. I have waited so long for this IVF cycle to get here. I can't believe it is finally happening.

I wanted to post this yesterday, but did not have time. I hope I continue to get this lucky with IVF:
My meds were ordered around Dec. 15th. The total bill was around $2800. My insurance will not pay for anything infertility related :( On Dec. 18th I received information about the new prescription coverage company my employer is switching to as of 1/1/09. I called the new company and started reading off the list of meds I needed. After each one, she told me it would be covered. I was in shock!! I called the pharmacy and told them to hold off on my order until after the 1st of Jan. The pharmacy called on the 2nd and told me my new total for meds- $130. Happy New Year to me!!! Now if they could have only switched medical insurance companies to one that covers IVF...

I am going to try to end each post with a quote. I have seen this done on other blogs and I always enjoy it.

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”
-Helen Keller